I think it was a Sunday
by phantomi
Summary: This is how I imagine our sweet geek relationship started! It is my first CSI fan fiction, so please read and review it -at least the first chapter! If you don't like it you are free to stop reading, of course! Thank you!
1. Part 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but my imagination - and that's limited.

Author's Notes: Spoiler warning: Season 5 . Many thanks to my friend Christie who read it first and commented on it! :) And many thanks to you for reading it! Enjoy!

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**I think it was a Sunday...**

_T.S. Elliot once said that "What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from."_

Part 1

She turned the TV on with no intention of actually watching anything and poured some more coffee in her cup. She took the first magazine she spotted on the break-room table and started flipping through its pages. People smiling in advertisements, happy family pictures with the mother holding _"The ideal cleaner for every woman!"_… She chuckled. _Yeah right. Like it's ever like that._ With more power than the one probably needed, she closed the magazine and took another sip from her coffee.

"Are you ok?" She heard a voice behind her. She turned to find Grissom standing at the door as if he wasn't sure if he wanted to come in or stay out.

"Sure!" she added with a somehow forced smile.

"Sara…" Grissom started. He paused, finally entering the room, and sat on the chair next to hers. "Sara, I know it was a difficult case for you. Go home, relax, read a book… You don't have to stay here. Everything's under control. Greg's no baby –he can't avoid paper work forever, you know- and I… Well, it's fine for everyone!" he smiled. _Except me, of course. One smile of yours and I know I can get through the rest of the day._ He gathered himself quickly enough, so that he would be able to take notice of her answer and actually be in position to answer back.

"It was a difficult case for all of us, Gris. I just don't see why I should be the exception and go home." _Liar. _Yeah… She was good at lying. Especially when it came to herself.

"Uh… Sara…" He sighed. "Ok, if you think so… Do whatever you think it's best for you."

"… Thank you."

"You're welcome." He smiled.

Heavy silence fell between them. Grissom frowned like he was trying to figure out the solution to an extremely hard crossword puzzle. _"Maybe that would be better for both of them."_ These were her exact words when they last talked about the case. Truth be told he got a bit upset himself too with the whole case although he wasn't the one threatened to be killed. _But that was exactly why it was upsetting, wasn't it? Sara… Dead… Away from him… Not speaking to her, not seeing her, not smelling her, not touching her… _Even the thought of it was unbearable. So much that even the slightest possibility of it happening made him shiver. But she was there now. In front of him. Speaking to him.

And he could protect her the way her parents failed to do or just pray that she would be safe. He could hug her and tell her everything's going to be fine or he could just walk away once more –he always did that up to now, anyway- and hope that she would find the strength and walk on her own again. He knew she had feelings for him. Even if she hadn't made that clear during their previous encounter at her place, he could tell. Whatever Catherine may have thought of his inexperienced life, he was no idiot. And again… Even if he was wrong about any other woman, he knew he could read Sara.

_Sometimes she really does look like a butterfly! _He smiled at that thought! It sounded almost insulting! He was not sure about her next move, she could surprise him any time, and yet when she did move he was sure what he would see. Just like his butterflies! And - was it only him who thought that? - she seemed so vulnerable under this toughness she tried so hard to show the others… _I could protect her, you know, but… Am I really capable of that? Doesn't she deserve someone better, younger, more experienced in relationships with people? _How could he help her when their social skills were both on the same neutral level?

Silence.

Sara coughed as she took another sip of the hot coffee that burned her throat.

_You should say something! This is getting way too awkward!_

"Do you want to talk about it?" asked Grissom.

"What? The case? I thought we were done!"

"I'm talking about you."

"Grissom, I , uh, I said I'm fine."

He licked his lips. _God, is she stubborn! _But that was one of the things he liked about her, wasn't it?

"Have a cup of coffee with me." The invitation came out of his mouth without even realising he uttered the words.

"Ok… Do you want me to get you some?"

"No! I mean out of here. A café."

"Oh! Uh…!" She looked down to the floor.

_Shit._

"As friends, you know!" he added quickly. Maybe too quickly.

"Friends." _Friends… Friends… _"Yes! Umm… Ok! Let's go!"

"Good! Allow me 5' to get some papers for Ecklie and we're leaving"

The small quiet café in the west side of the city had a pleasant smell of something between chocolate and coffee being suspended in the still air. From the corner they were seated, they could only watch the workers granting the customers' requests behind the counter and the street outside the small window next to their table.

Sara drank some more tea - she didn't order coffee; another one and she would start shaking- and glanced reluctantly across the table at her boss. _My boss. Grissom. Are bosses supposed to have coffee with their co-workers and talk about their personal stuff? Oh, come on! Why not? "As friends, you know!" Who am I kidding? We both know –"and not tell", a light voice added inside her- we're more than friends._ Well… Not like they had an intimate relationship or anything but more like… um… let's just say _felt_ something more.

She remembered that seminar in San Francisco, where they first met. She had felt charmed by his intelligence and knowledge, as most girls like her would. She had even found the psychological explanation for it! Like she wouldn't! Apparently, many young women fell for their teachers/advisors/supervisors, dazzled by their experience in life and their wisdom. _That's crap!_ I know I'm in love with Grissom just because he is Grissom and not any other stupid psychologically explained thingy! _I mean… Seriously!! _

"So…" she heard him saying, and being dragged out of her thoughts she lifted her gaze from the table to eye him.

"So…" she said calmly half-smiling. It seems that the only thing they were perfectly capable of was to create awkwardness between them. She brought her hand close to her face and tucked a disobedient lock of her hair behind her ear.

Grissom sensed her discomfort and decided that even though his primary reason for asking her to have coffee with him was to discuss about the case's impact on her, it was neither the right time nor the place. Regardless of his worries, he took the napkin from under his cup and while playfully folding it into smaller pieces, he said instead:

"Greg's been doing pretty well for a beginner..!"

"… Yeah! He is, um, trying very hard! I think he really wanted to achieve this." She replied with a hidden surprise. She had to admit that she had half-expected a well planned attack about the previous evening resulting to her usual denial and his insistence.

"If he didn't want to then he wouldn't have to go through all of this. Plus I'm a firm believer of the attitude 'You only succeed in what you want to succeed.' Nothing more or less."

Sara laughed at his comment. "That's true!" she nodded. "You know, he's been trying extra hard for you…" She paused at this end met his eye. "I mean, apart from everything else, he likes to feel that you like him and respect him both as a co-worker and as a person…"

He raised his eyebrow – a move she knew all too well – and declared:

"That's almost absurd! If he wanted that, he didn't have to become a CSI. I already respect him as one of the best lab-technicians I've ever met."

"Well… It's not like you ever make your emotions clear…" She put an early stop at that point realising that she approached dangerous territory and nervously looked outside the window with such interest as if aliens where marching by.

Grissom felt the heat of the coffee raising from his stomach, passing from his heart and finally landing on his cheeks. _That was a well-done hit, _he thought. He placed the napkin back on the table and brought the cup on his lips taking another sip. He tried to calm himself and think of an answer as suitable to their original subject as possible.

"Everyone does their best, Sara… Not all people can express their beliefs and feelings openly, you know that." He explained in an almost defensive tone.

"Yeah… I do." She answered without withdrawing her stare from the traffic light across the road, which at that moment was turning red. She didn't bother to bring him out of this embarrassing state by changing the subject. It was _his _fault after all. She had offered him many chances in the past; from now on if he desired anything that had to do with her, he would have to reach for it on his own.

They ceased talking and Sara fixed her eyes on a child that hang from his mother's skirt begging her for some ice-cream.

The silence had become almost unbearable for Grissom who sat there consumed in his thoughts, wondering how they managed to make their conversation turn out that way.

"You know what…?" she whispered. "I'll just leave. I have to go home anyway and this… meeting can't do good to either of us." She picked up her cell phone from the table and made a move to stand up when she felt a warm hand grabbing her arm. Grissom looked directly into her eyes, his gaze altering between her left and right one. Knocked over by the blue ocean in front of her, Sara stood there for a second confused by the power his eyes had on her and after blinking once or twice she finally gave in and sat down.

He hadn't really planned on reacting so, but either way he was pleased he did. Feeling the softness of her bare arm still tickling his palm, he moved his chair closer to hers and ignoring her surprised look he started talking.

"Sara… Please… Just… Just stay here. I want to… We have to talk."


	2. Part 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my imagination.

Author's Notes: Spoilers for Seasons 4 and 5. Again thanks to my friend Christie for being there to read it! And thank you for not only reading this but for having read part 1 too... Thank you so much!! I hope you enjoy yourselves!

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Part 2

Truth be told this situation wasn't exactly in his original day-plan.

He took a breath and somehow decided that it would be now or never. Since he had met her, he subconsciously understood that if there was a point when he would want to have a woman in his life, that woman would be someone like Sara. And right now he was quite certain that that woman could only be her and no one else. After all, he knew himself well enough to realize that the only person who would be able to give him a second look was someone who'd not be willing to take the first look for granted. Well _that_ person was Sara.

After the incident with Adam Trent the other night, he had to admit he was a little shaken. His feelings for her were nothing new to him. It was no more than a year and a half ago when he almost about her talked in public.

_That girl victim…_ _What was her name? Oh, yes. Debbie. _She looked just like his Sara. After having checked the apartment, he had to get out and see Sara standing in front of him in order to make sure she was _there… Alive…_ The shock he underwent was enough for him to open up to a murderer and even resemble that man's relationship with Debbie to his own with Sara. It was almost frightening to think of their similarities. Both men unable to risk their careers to be with a younger woman, who offered them a life, allowed their dreams to pass them by; allowed their lives to pass them by.

Of course _he_ would never kill Sara.

_How do you murder someone you are in love with?_

It was the same now with that schizophrenic. Why on earth should she be in danger for him to understand how vital for his survival her well being was?

His feelings, not asking for his permission, have been building up throughout all these years. But there's only as much a person can handle.

You reach a point sometime when those feelings become so heavy, so strong, you are simply overpowered. You don't have to be a genius to know when it's time to give up. You pick up the pieces that might have fallen on your way to her, do your best and let things flow.

Grissom recollected his thoughts.

"I only mumble when you are around..!" He smiled at her puzzled expression. "I, uh, - see? - I lose my words when I have to deal with you; as my friend Sara, I mean, and not my co-worker Sara. You see… Some people just can't deal with their feelings as easily as others. And as you are aware of, I'm sure, one of these people is me. The fact that I am –to put it put it this way- a man of science, doesn't necessarily mean, as you may have reckoned now and then, that I don't feel anything or can't have romantic feelings for another human being. How could I not? You were here these past years to torturingly remind me of exactly that." He paused to watch her reaction to his words or at least make sure she was listening. Even if she refused to let him be a more important part of her life, he would, if nothing else, have tried. He owed it both to her and himself, after all.

Sara, on the other hand, had been listening startled to his confession from the moment he opened his mouth and still couldn't digest what was happening. Was it really Grissom saying all this? Taken aback by his speech, she couldn't even ask him if he was ok..! After further consideration though, she came to the conclusion he was _actually_ speaking the truth!

Recalling his talk the previous year in the interrogation room with that doctor, who must have killed that poor nurse (Debbie?), she replayed in her mind the exact words she heard from him, while standing unnoticed on the other side of the glass: "_Sad, isn't it doc? Guys like us, couple of middle aged men who have allowed their work to consume their lives. The only time we ever touch other people is when we are wearing our latex gloves. We wake up one day and realize that for fifty years we haven't really lived at all. But then all of a sudden we get a second chance. Somebody young and beautiful shows up, somebody we could care about. She offers us a new life with her. But we have a big decision to make, right? Because we have to risk everything we've worked for in order to have her. I couldn't do it, but you did. You risked it all."_

She felt a mild shiver piercing her body, that unbeatable feeling of drowning that had consumed her back then, returning now with the same power. Tears welled up her eyes and she hastily looked away, frantically praying they wouldn't roll down.

A moment passed and with a soft controlled voice she muttered:

"You couldn't risk your job to have me. Too much to lose if something went wrong… You were right when you said that." She blinked to make her tears vanish, before continuing. "I had heard you. In that interrogation room when you were talking to the suspect for the case of the girl with the butterflies; I was on the other side of the glass." Unknowingly, she answered the question that hang from his lips.

He looked at the pale skin of her face, her tensed muscles betraying someone in defense or even somebody on the verge of a break-down and realized it would probably take more than a declaration of his feelings to persuade her, he was not lying or whatever else she may have believed.

He stretched his right hand and reached for her face, his palm cupping her left cheek, softly caressing it the way she had once done for him, and forced her to turn around and look at him.

"Look at me." Her eyelashes buttered as his intense gaze softened. "Once upon the time, there was a boy different from the others. The strange silence that surrounded him, made the other kids dislike him; so he became alienated from the world. Disappointed by the people's indifference, he took refuge in nature and soon discovered he loved insects. There was something magical about them, so attractive that he became obsessed with not only them but science in general. When that boy grew up and became a man, he forgot there was even life outside the walls of the laboratory."

Sara had to smile. She made an attempt to speak and comment but then his thumb ran over her lips and held them united by gently pressing against them, making clear she had to let him finish first. With his hand never breaking contact with her face, he went on.

"One day, the man met a young lady and he soon found out she was a princess; in many ways." he smirked. There were only a few people who knew the meaning of her name; she had to expect Grissom to be one of them. _Is there anything this man doesn't know?_

"He liked that woman from day one. She… She was perhaps a bit different from the other people, too; captivating. Talking with her made him sometimes even forget his little bug-friends. The years though kept passing by and in the meanwhile he even managed to take her to work with him; that was the closer they ever got despite both of their wants. The man could not risk his previous safe life hidden into science to be with a person; even if he had feelings for her; even if it meant a whole new life with her. He thought he was safe there. And she was nearby, as well. But for some reason he kept losing her. There were times he realized they hadn't talked to each other for days. The princess fed up by his inability to make a choice often became emotional. She wanted either to truly be with him, the person she first got to know, or to escape the glass castle he had unknowingly put her in."

He paused at this and passed his fingers over her eyebrows, her eyes, her nose and finally her mouth, before abandoning her face and reaching for her hands. "We are technically in public, you know." She whispered. "I know." He said. With a lower voice he continued his tale.

"Some more time passed and when the man came to terms with the fact that she may be more important to him than his insects, he started wondering about her own well being. Would it be really fine if they were together? He was a lot of years older than her (in inverse proportion to his life experience). And even though she was stubborn enough to persuade a mule, he still had his reservations." Her hand twitched in his and she cast him a playful look.

"Hey!" she laughed and he smiled.

"What?! I'm talking the truth here!"

"… Whatever!"

"So, when he almost completely lost her, he felt lost himself. He decided it was about time to do what he should have done years ago."

"And what is that?" she asked with a harsh voice.

"What I am doing right now."  
"Hm… A fable?"

"Is that a bad idea?"  
"I dunno..! Don't you think you should ask me out first?"

"If I did, what would you answer?"

"Are you..? What are you saying here?!"

"Would you like to go out with me?"

"… Like dinner?"

"Hm…" he pretended to think. "Much more like a date. So lunch may work too!"

"And what if I say 'no'?"

"Are you?" he asked alarmed.

She laughed. It was enough with the games.

"No!"

"'No' what?"

"No, I won't say 'no'!" For God's sake what were they? Kids?

"That is, yes, I would like to go out with you..!" she added with a fake sigh.

"Thank you..!" was the only thing he managed to say, as he could swear at that moment that all the butterflies in his office were attacking his stomach.

They didn't talk for a while and kept looking outside. For all that, if the waitress went to their table, she would be able to see two people still holding hands, their fingers now intertwined.


End file.
